I just want to start out by saying that I am absolutely loving this book so far. I really never understood what Islamic women had to go through, but this book has put a lot of it into perspective for me.
So far, the characters in the book have worked to keep their hope while dealing with the realities of political and personal oppression. At points throughout the book, some of the characters express their individual hopes. One example is when Mariam asks Mullah Faizullah if she can go to school. Mariam walks into such events with high levels of hope for the future, but once reality sets in, her hope is crushed. Not only does this hope provide the reader with suspense and emotional attachment to the characters, but this vicious cycle is like a reflection of hope and dashed dreams that Afghan women suffer, time and time again.
Part one of the book has also brought up this idea of shame. Jalil and Rasheed emphasize the importance of their reputations by doing their best to avoid any shame to their names. Ironically, both of the men behave in ways that are shameful. In order to protect their names and meet their own ideas of social expectations, they neglect and even abuse their children and wives in order to save themselves.
There is also this idea of “the pregnant women” being a big symbol of the book. I think Hosseini has set up pregnancy to be another symbol of hope throughout the novel. Mariam's pregnancies each offer her an opportunity to be hopeful for the future despite her living situation. We all obviously know that childbirth is painful, and the pain that mothers feel during birth reminds us of the sacrifices that parents make in order to bring new life into the world. I think that a mother’s pain is worth the joy and attachment that she feels once the child is born. What Hosseini really points out in part one is the contrast between fertility and infertility and its traditional meaning. Hosseini is trying to say that a woman's value in the Afghan society has often been measured by their ability to bear children, specifically boys (like how Rasheed is hoping that Mariam’s baby is a boy because his son died and boys carry on the family name.)
There is another contrast in the book between true love and marriage. We also know that in the Islamic culture most marriages tend to be forced so they are not likely to be influenced by love. We can see in the book that almost all of the marriages were forced. With a forced marriage comes no love and more oppression of women in the society. It shows how horribly the men treat the women even though the women give their lives to their husbands.
At the end of part one, I was wondering why everyone was happy with the death of Mir Akbar? I think Hosseini was trying to show that the murder of Mir Akbar and the birth of Laila show that Afghanistan is changing and developing into something more modern. I also think that Laila's birth is a contrast with Mariam's misery and infertility, and Laila's birth also coincides with the start of the rebellion and is a foreshadow of the personal and social revolution within Afghanistan.
To start, I want to agree with Kristina about my initial reactions to the book, and the life of an islamic women to be specific. After reading parts of the book Reading Lolita in Tehran, it was clear that women were subjected, inferior, and maybe even served as a buffer to men. However, after reading just the first part of 1000 Splendid Suns, it is made very clear how women received such a small amount of importance. For example, Jalil and the rest of his family thought it best to send Mariam off with Rasheed. At first, Mariam desperately did not want to go, but despite her pleading she was just shipped off as if she were a box, showing how she had no say in deciding her own future.
One of my other first reactions towards the book was a feeling of hatred and disgust for Nana. From the very start, in chapter one, Nana is portrayed as a very mean women, calling Mariam a "clumsy little Harimi." Continuing into the book, Nana's character becomes even easier to hate. Nana tells Mariam that Mariam has been a bother in her life even from childbirth, telling her about how she was all alone when she birthed Mariam, causing Mariam to feel a great amount of guilt and apologize. Another thing that makes nana less likeable is her constant negative attitude towards Jalil, the only thing that gives Mariam happiness in such a bleak world. Nana would refer to Jalil's actions of bringing jewelry and presents as "his idea of penance," meaning that instead of being a real man, a real father, he substitutes his duties with gifts. At many other points throughout the book Nana would strike down anything positive about Julil, and give her sides to all of his stories, her side usually consisting of something mean or terrible about Jalil. For example, Jalil told Mariam when Mariam was born, Jalil did not even show interest, and just continued with his horse riding trip, and when he finally did see her, all he could do was comment on her imperfections, and long face. Of course, Jalil's account of the story was much different, as he said that he immediately left his horse riding trip, to see his beautiful new daughter whom he loved from the first moment he saw her. The things that set me over the edge of hating Nana was what she said about Mariam's purpose in life. Nana told Mariam that the only talent that she needed in life was to "endure” and that after she was gone, Mairiam would have nothing, and she is nothing. After reading this, i thought that i had it pinned that Nana was just a horrid bitter lady who had to constantly put Mariam down. Just when i thought that i had it all figured out, Hosseini managed to catch me completely off guard. When Mariam asked Jalil if she could see his theatre, and Jalil began giving reasons why it was not a good idea, I knew that Jalil was full of it, and Mariam would never have the privilege of seeing Jalil and day outside of Thursday. When Jalil gave in and agreed to allow Mariam a visit to the theatre, i just figured that some way some how he would wiggle out of doing it. I was not surprised when Mariam was left alone waiting for her father. After Mariam made her way through the city to her father’s house was when my ideas towards Jalil started to shift. I was very surprised with Jalil's actions of not letting Mariam in the house, allowing her to sleep outside, but when Mariam caught a slight glimpse of Jalil in the window (i think it was Jalil) I immediately began to think that maybe Nana was not such a liar after all. Although I did not want to believe Nana was correct, and i wanted Mariam and Jalil to be united and live happily ever after, I was stunned when Jalil's evil side, his true side, was shown in his actions of forcing Mariam out of his life. With Nana gone, and Rasheed, Mariam's husband being her main superior, i am excited as to see how the rest of the book will capture my imagination and surprise me.
I am enjoying this book so much! Having already read The Namesake I feel as though I have a little cultural backround into Mariam's life and what kind of a women she is expected to be in her culture. I also believe that this can connect to Reading Lolita in Tehran very well because of the setting. Definatley was a good choice by us guys!
Anyways, I wanted to specifically focus on one event in the book that was particularly moving and emotional for me. In chapter 8 of part one, Mariam is being forced marry a suitor Jalil and his three wives have found for her. She leaves Jalil's home to go live with her new husband practically on the other side of the country. Of course, 15 year old Mariam is lost and hurt. In all of a week, she has lost her mother and been abandoned by her father, twice.
During this part, I feel so much sympathy for Mariam, and many other young girls that are forced to marry someone they do not love. Not only are they forced to hide their bodies, their beliefs, and practically their individualism but their lives are already planned for them.
Throughout the beginnig of the story up to this point, we see Mariam look up to her father, Jalil, she thinks nothing but greatness of him. And here he is now, sending her away, without and explanation, without a sorry, without any sign of remorse. And this is when Mariam see's all that her mother warned her of.
Mariam tells her father, "I use to worship you" (page 50) and yet, he says nothing. He cannot bring himself to tell her that she was just a mistake, a burden of his sins. This gets me very angry because if he was so ashamed of her, why did he visit her every Thursday, and buy her presents? There was no way he could be doing it out of love, because if he were, he would have been more than welcoming to have Mariam live in his house after her mother was gone.
It hurt me for Mariam to experience this rejection from her father, when all she did was stick up for him to her mother. She believed in his goodness so much, almost too much. Her mother was her caregiver, the only one who would have always been there for her, and of course, Mariam took her for granted. But, we are only human, and that is what we do.
Although her mother warned her time and time again about her father, saying, “You think you matter to him, that you’re wanted in his house? You think you’re a daughter to him? That he’s going to take you in? Let me tell you something, a man’s heart is a wretched, wretched thing” (page26) the only way Mariam would know for sure of this is by experiencing it on her own, which she did. It may be the most painful thing she experienced, but sometimes in order to believe in something you have to experience it on your own. Also, I believe the part of the “a man’s hear is a wretched, wretched thing” is foreshadowing how her husband will also be an unpleasant man. In the little we have read so far, I see Hosseini trying to present the challenges and limits of a young Afghan woman’s life in this setting through the story of Mariam. And I cannot wait to read more.
I would like to comment on what Kristina says about the idea of shame being a big subject in the book. Both Rasheed and Jalil are ashamed by something. And unfortunatley both of these shames reflect on Mariam. These shames are also connected to their culture. Being married to three woman, it was a sin for Jalil to have a child without one of them. Although, since he is a man he does not get punished, however he must face the shame of his daughter, which he tries to be rid of. Rasheed's shame is toward the other men in his society who do not follow their culture, by letting their woman do things like wear makeup and show off their skin. Hoessini presents this shame to show how other's shames can affect those that are innocent. The shame Rasheed has also shows how not everyone in the Afghan community follows the culture, there are some who rebel against it, and it is seen offensive to some, but not all Afghans.
I would also like to comment on Kristina's idea of the symbol of pregnancy for Mariam. In her pregnancy there is hope, but like every other thing she has hoped for, it has only lead to failure. This happens again and again and she begins thnk she is being punished for not being a good daughter to her mother. It is much worse for Mariam that she cannot get pregnant, because it seems like that is her only purpose in her marriage. Without a child, the marriage is not a success and there is no meaning for it. Therefore, her shortcomings have angered Rasheed and there is now nothing she can do to please him. I feel as though Hoessini is trying to show that Mariam’s life has no hope.
I also agree with kristina’s comments of how Lalita’s birth represents the beginning of a revolution. However, I believe Lalita’s birth also symbolizes the beginning of a new life for Mariam, this child I believe will somehow grow close to Mariam and bring her happiness.
I would also agree with Alfonse that at the beginning of the story I also had a bad feeling towards Nana. She seemed so negative and always in a bad mood. I felt as though she resented Mariam’s life because it reminded her of Jalil and her also mistake. However, it came obvious that Nana was only looking out for her daughter when she said these things about Jalil. But of course, when our parents tell us more and more about something, we want to find out for ourselves. And unfortunately Mariam did. I also believe that Nana was already so weak and unhappy with life that in no way could she bring joy to Mariam. I believe Hoessini created Nana’s character this way to show the bitterness and anger Afghan woman have towards their role in lifes.
To start, I agree with Francesca that it must have been devastating for a 14 year old to go through an experience of so many terrible things in such a short amount of time, and keep the faith to keep living, and keep sane. In a span of about four days, Mariam lost her mother, the only person that had truly loved her, realized her father never really cared about her, and was basically given to Rasheed against her will. It is hard to comprehend how horrible this time of Mariam's life must have been, and it is even harder to comprehend that such a young girl can withstand such a time. All of these terrible things that are happening to Mariam are making Nana's words quite clear in a few different ways, as Mariam is being forced to "endure," to an incredible extent. I predict that Nana had a firsthand view of an average women's life. With all of this wisdom and knowledge, Nana knew exactly what Mariam's life was going to be like. She knew that Mariam would not be able to make her own decisions, think for herself, and have times in her life when nothing seemed to make sense. In knowing all of this, all she could do was give Nana the only advice she knew, which was to "endure," and clearly Mariam is having plenty to endure at this point in time.
Next, I would like to agree with Kristina on how arranged marriages are flawed, and in no way involve love, emotion, or feeling. Mariam was not given a choice in her marriage with Rasheed, initially showing her lack of importance in decision making. Mariam is forced to live with the strange man of which she has known for barely a day, in a new world hundreds of miles away from the Kolba, the place she ever knew, other than Jalil's house which she was a day. I cannot even imagine how terrible it must have been to be given away like a lowly slave to a person that I have just met in a place hundreds of miles away. Although Mariam took some pride in doing womanly duties for Rasheed, such as cooking and cleaning, and she even began to feel emotion from Rasheed after sympathizing with him for his losses, the lack of love or real emotion was apparent in the relationship. Rasheed did show a small amount of interest in Mariam at first, but after she could not bear a child for him, he began to despise her and treat her terrible, constantly ridiculing her for her lack of knowledge on things like politics or the United States, and even going as far as shoving pebbles in her mouth because she did not cook rice properly.
To elaborate on the idea that Mariam has to endure all of these terrible things, it is interesting to see how the other side, the more privileged side is living. Mariam, at the young age of fourteen, is being sent off to live with a complete stranger, and to become a wife, and take on all of the responsibilities of a wife. At the same time, her half sisters are getting educations, going to school, and planning to go to a university. The difference among the lives of the Mariam and her sisters are absolutely astonishing to say the least. The girls do not have much of an age difference, and until being sent off with Rasheed, their houses were within 2 kilometers, but it seems as though their lives were light years apart. The fact that the children of Jalil's other wives have such simple, care free lives, while Mariam is having to change everything she ever knew just because she is not wanted in Jalil's household shows how unbalanced, and overall unfair life was. Although I understand that because of Mariam's background, and the label put on her because of everything that has happened, I hope that she finds the happiness that she deserves in some way later in the book.
I want to comment on what francesca said about Mariam always sticking up for her father Jalil. She did nothing but defend him and worship it. It just goes to show the lack of appreciation, of the Islamic men, of the women that are in their lives. The women give up so much for them and in return they give bak nothing.
I just want to also say too that I love the idea of this novel, the voice that Hosseini gives to the oppressed but strong and sometimes victorious women of Afghanistan. We never hear about strong female roles in the media or in literature or even anywhere for that matter. It is nice to see that someone is finally hearing women about what they have to say about their cultures.
I don't know if anyone has read Kite Runner by Hosseini but, 1000 Splendid Suns is no Kite Runner. No one seeks redemption. No one sees the Light. But the ancient battle between Light and Dark is seen in Mariam’s despair in discovering her father’s lack of strength and her mother’s manipulative lack of commitment to life.
I definitely think there should be a warning in the book: explicit domestic abuse: those with a propensity to PTSD be aware – given that Hosseini is highly skilled in his diction: show don’t tell. I was really surprised when I had read the things that happened to Mariam and other women in the book. At times in part one, it was a little graphic. Just like Francesca and Alfonse said, its like this poor, innocent 15 year old girl that is being treated horribly. Nobody ever wants to read something that obscene. But Hosseini writes it in such a way that we want to keep reading to make sure that there is a happy ending or something good comes out of it.
I don't think Hosseini was trying to make this book about the rights and wrongs of wars or about the justification of war and religion. I think he really wanted to tell us a story about the truths of what the innocent people, mainly women, must live with and deal with. I think Hossieni wants us to find that love can give us strength beyond anything we can imagine and it is a choice that is both liberating and difficult.
Part one deals with a lot of guilt and pity. I started to feel a lot of sympathy for Mariam. She is so young and I feel like the life she attained was not the life a child would want.
From the beginning, I noticed a difference in the portrayal of the way both Nana and Jalil treated Mariam. Jalil was masked to be an aspiring father who is there for his child, while Nana seemed to be strict and rough on Mariam all the time almost as if she were crazy. Nana constantly calls Mariam a "harami" whenever Mariam expresses her feelings about what she personally desires (like a relationship with her father and an education). Her mother constantly puts her down and makes her feel guilty, "harami was an unwanted thing; that she, Mariam, was an illegitimate person who would never have illegitimate things such as love, family, house, acceptance." (p.4) It struck me why Nana would define her daughter as this, but throughout the rest of part 1 I started to realize that maybe Nana was right about Mariam being a harami. When Nana committes suicide, Mariam is brought to Jalil's house with his three wives and nine other children. It is apparent that Mariam does not fit in and is unaccepted by the rest of the house hold. They therefore make the decision to send her off at 15 years old to marry Rasheed (a 40-45 year old man). There is a tremendous twist when Mariam actually ends up feeling more guilt than ever when her mother committes suicide and she is left with nothing as she realizes what her father is really about.
A person that I thought had some sort of symbolic representation was Mullah Faizullah. He seems to play the main male role model in Mariam's life. I feel like he has helped her out most, he's like a best friend to her because she was never sent to school, she had no legitamate siblings, and her parents didn't show much support. One thing I really wonder was why Nana easily resisted Mariam attaining an education? It's a shame to realize that Mariam could have had a future ahead of her, yet she is being barracaded by her mother who is rejecting her child's future happiness because of her own pitiful past. Nana had a bad past so she enforces it upon Mariam, "You're afraid, Nana...you're afraid that I might the happiness you never had." (p.27) I agree with this thought because Nana is getting in the way of Mariam's true happiness and there is nothing Mariam can do, she is controlled and it's not fair.
The realtionship between Mariam and Rasheed is awful. He is controlling and expects too much, after all Mariam is still technically a child. From the start Hosseini projects that there really is no well beings in Mariam's life. It starts off bad and seems to go downhill from the death of her mother. She is not in love with Rasheed, she is forced to be with him reprsenting how the Islamic government has so much power over their citizens. In America, we have freedom of right, but here Hosseini shows that people of higher power will control you and things will get tough if you are placed in the wrong postions.
I would like to touch up on the topic of women brought up by Kristina. I feel like women have a lot of hope, like Mariam, yet they always get shut down. I agree that the women are definitely giving and they never get back anything in return. There are many injustices taking part in Mariam's life in part one. Rasheed has so much control over Mariam and it is sad because she is very young and the Islamic traditions are so different from the American, how I see it. Rasheed is abusive towards Mariam because she can't necessarily get pregnant. I believe that Mariam is strong for being able to deal with the outcomes of live she has. Women in the Afghan society are over powered by the men mostly because it is traditional for men to be superior to women. Women are supposed to abide by their husband's wishes and it would sinful if they don't. Women are controlled by what they wear, what they do, how they live, who they communicate with and I think Mariam will break away from that possibly becoming ashamed of her culture because her entire life she has had to live by the rules and desires of someone other than herself.
Also, I would like to comment on Alfonse and Francesca's comments about the thoughts that Nana was horrid causing readers to dislike her character. At first I thought Nana was senile and dreadful, but after reading part one I felt that she had a reason for being like that- that being her past. I believe that the life Mariam is given right now may possibly be a repeat of the life Nana was given in her past. The way Nana constantly demeans Jalil showing her hate towards him and stopping Mariam's happiness seems similar to what may happen to Mariam with Rasheed. I feel like Mariam will stay with Rasheed and reproduce, but they will not be happy. This is not where she wants to be and I think she will find her way out of this harsh, enforced relationship creating the same, if not similar, outlook on life and men that her mother had. Nana states to Mariam that men always find a way to accuse and humiliate women and maybe that is why she hates Jalil so much. Maybe her relationship with Jalil was like that of Rasheed and Mariam, and as we can tell Rasheed and Mariam's relationship is terrible.
In my opinion, touching up on the idea of shame, I think it has to do more with Mariam than with Jalil and Rasheed. Mariam feels that it is her fault that her mother committed suicide, being the reason that she, herself is unable to reproduce right. The lack off love Jalil showed Mariam is thought to be shame that she was Nana's daughter so she was not important. The reason why she was arranged to marry and live with Rasheed was because Jalil and his family were ashamed of her so they abandoned her as well. She has lost all hope at this point and I hope she regains her self strength to give the book n outstanding ending!
I apologize for blogging so late but I really wanted to read the entire book before I chose to reflect on it and tell you my reactions. First off, I think the book is amazing and Hosseini did a fantastic job with part 1 especially because he had to draw in his readers and make them want to continue reading. What I enjoyed the most about the first part of the book was the vivid descriptions of Mariam's surroundings and how her life is more or so already set for her because she is considered a "harami" or bastard, by her father and his other wives. As I was continued reading, I found myself getting lost in the chapters and I lost track of the time because the storyline is so intriguing and I couldn't help but to continue turning the pages.
What was extremely shocking was the way that Nana, Mariam's mother, hung herself when her daughter sought out her father. All Mariam wanted for her 15th birthday was to feel accepted and adored by the only man she thought loved her. She only wanted to watch a movie at his grand cinema. What she got in return was her mother's suicide and the door shut in her face by her father. The way that Hosseini describes the entire ordeal is so fascinating and heart-breaking that I couldn't help but tear up when I was reading it. Mariam sleeps outside of her father's, Jalil's, palace for the entire night, only hoping, begging, and pleading for her father to come get her. When he doesn't, and Mariam realizes that Nana was right when she told her that her father considered her a "mugwort" along with the rest of his family, it's far too late. Mariam has to deal with the cold hard fact that the one woman who was held responsible for Mariam, and who provided shelter for her, took her own life because she couldn't bear to live without Mariam.
The most difficult part was having to read about Mariam's arranged marriage to Rasheed. From Hosseini's descriptions, I pictured a rotting, old man in my mind who reminded me of a dirty rat in a sewer. Especially when Hosseini describes Rasheed's "yellow rotting teeth". I thought that was quite repulsive to be honest. Reading about Mariam and her devastating struggles prior to her arranged marriage to Rasheed, made me so angry when her father just signed her off to this lunatic because he had absolutely no right to do that! But then again, I may think like this because I've grown up in America not Afghanistan, and my idea of liberty is completely different from Mariam's idea of liberty. When Mariam first went to Rasheed's home, she seemed eager to make him happy, even after he told her to wear a burqa and demanded his food to be just right. In Mariam's mind, she felt that anything was better than dealing with her cold-hearted father who had pawned her off to some nasty man with brewing cruel intentions.
As I continued to read about Mariam's and Rasheed's relationship, all I wanted to do was hurt Rasheed because of how evil he was. Making a woman eat pebbles because his food wasn't cooked just like he wanted it? Are you serious? I just got angrier and angrier as I continued reading but then I also realized how much we take for granted in our daily lives. I can never imagine dealing with a cruel man such as Rasheed and having to live up to these insanely strict expectations. In the U.S. we're taught that men and women should be treated equally, which was never the case and probably still isn't the case in Afghanistan. Rasheed's treatment of Mariam also reminds me of a story I read in the Boston Herald a couple of years ago. A woman in Afghanistan had been having a secret relationship with her gardener without telling her family and her brothers stoned her to death because the gardener was considered lower than them. How can you rely on anybody else if you can't even depend on your own flesh and blood to save your life? All of these aspects of Afghan lifestyles seem so extreme and bizarre tome.
I completely agree with Gabby when she says that Mullah Faizullah is the biggest “symbolic representation” in the entire book. Throughout the novel, we see consistent references to the Koran and the daily rituals in Islamic culture such as “namaz” the daily prayers, and Ramadan which is the month where they fast and feast on the last day. I felt like Mullah Faizullah was Mariam’s personal Allah. He seemed to be sacred to Mariam and he always helped her and was there to guide her through her young life, or at least what she managed to get out of it. Mullah also taught Mariam everything she knew, which was mostly about the Koran and he also taught her important prayers and sayings that stuck with Mariam throughout her life. What seemed amazing to me was Mariam’s relentless belief in God when she had every reason in the world to give up. From her several miscarriages to her husband’s ruthless beatings to her lack of family support, Mariam always looked to God and trusted that he would be there to guide her through these difficulties and help her survive anything. I know that if I was in Mariam’s shoes, I probably wouldn’t have as much faith as she did. But then again, when you’re faced with such tremendous obstacles the only thing you have to hold on to is faith, if nothing else. Kristina also mentions the idea of shame throughout the book as well which is very obvious to the reader. Rasheed and Jalil are so preoccupied with what the public may think of them that they go to great lengths to conceal their faults or what they may think of as faults in their lives. It’s so depressing to think that Mariam considered herself no more than a helpless burden in both of these men’s lives. In Rasheed’s life she was an incapable child bearer and in her father’s life she was just an unwanted harami with a tainted name. Feeling like you don’t belong anywhere would be so difficult to deal with no matter where you went or who you dealt with. Mariam no longer had a mother or father and you can pretty much say she had no husband either so she had nobody; not a single soul to rely on. Francesca mentions the part where Mariam is telling Jalil that she “used to worship him (50)” which is also incredibly depressing to think about for many reasons. When you’re a fourteen year-old girl, you constantly search for answers around the world and you constantly look to your parents for advice. You count on these people to be there and when you can’t, you feel helpless and lost like in Mariam’s case. She had such a deep adoration for her father and she more or so created this image of him as an idol in her mind. But when he let her down, she was ultimately crushed and had to face the reality that even her own father, who had created her, would never fail to disappoint his beloved daughter.
I just want to start out by saying that I am absolutely loving this book so far. I really never understood what Islamic women had to go through, but this book has put a lot of it into perspective for me.
ReplyDeleteSo far, the characters in the book have worked to keep their hope while dealing with the realities of political and personal oppression. At points throughout the book, some of the characters express their individual hopes. One example is when Mariam asks Mullah Faizullah if she can go to school. Mariam walks into such events with high levels of hope for the future, but once reality sets in, her hope is crushed. Not only does this hope provide the reader with suspense and emotional attachment to the characters, but this vicious cycle is like a reflection of hope and dashed dreams that Afghan women suffer, time and time again.
Part one of the book has also brought up this idea of shame. Jalil and Rasheed emphasize the importance of their reputations by doing their best to avoid any shame to their names. Ironically, both of the men behave in ways that are shameful. In order to protect their names and meet their own ideas of social expectations, they neglect and even abuse their children and wives in order to save themselves.
There is also this idea of “the pregnant women” being a big symbol of the book. I think Hosseini has set up pregnancy to be another symbol of hope throughout the novel. Mariam's pregnancies each offer her an opportunity to be hopeful for the future despite her living situation. We all obviously know that childbirth is painful, and the pain that mothers feel during birth reminds us of the sacrifices that parents make in order to bring new life into the world. I think that a mother’s pain is worth the joy and attachment that she feels once the child is born.
What Hosseini really points out in part one is the contrast between fertility and infertility and its traditional meaning. Hosseini is trying to say that a woman's value in the Afghan society has often been measured by their ability to bear children, specifically boys (like how Rasheed is hoping that Mariam’s baby is a boy because his son died and boys carry on the family name.)
There is another contrast in the book between true love and marriage. We also know that in the Islamic culture most marriages tend to be forced so they are not likely to be influenced by love. We can see in the book that almost all of the marriages were forced. With a forced marriage comes no love and more oppression of women in the society. It shows how horribly the men treat the women even though the women give their lives to their husbands.
At the end of part one, I was wondering why everyone was happy with the death of Mir Akbar? I think Hosseini was trying to show that the murder of Mir Akbar and the birth of Laila show that Afghanistan is changing and developing into something more modern. I also think that Laila's birth is a contrast with Mariam's misery and infertility, and Laila's birth also coincides with the start of the rebellion and is a foreshadow of the personal and social revolution within Afghanistan.
To start, I want to agree with Kristina about my initial reactions to the book, and the life of an islamic women to be specific. After reading parts of the book Reading Lolita in Tehran, it was clear that women were subjected, inferior, and maybe even served as a buffer to men. However, after reading just the first part of 1000 Splendid Suns, it is made very clear how women received such a small amount of importance. For example, Jalil and the rest of his family thought it best to send Mariam off with Rasheed. At first, Mariam desperately did not want to go, but despite her pleading she was just shipped off as if she were a box, showing how she had no say in deciding her own future.
ReplyDeleteOne of my other first reactions towards the book was a feeling of hatred and disgust for Nana. From the very start, in chapter one, Nana is portrayed as a very mean women, calling Mariam a "clumsy little Harimi." Continuing into the book, Nana's character becomes even easier to hate. Nana tells Mariam that Mariam has been a bother in her life even from childbirth, telling her about how she was all alone when she birthed Mariam, causing Mariam to feel a great amount of guilt and apologize. Another thing that makes nana less likeable is her constant negative attitude towards Jalil, the only thing that gives Mariam happiness in such a bleak world. Nana would refer to Jalil's actions of bringing jewelry and presents as "his idea of penance," meaning that instead of being a real man, a real father, he substitutes his duties with gifts. At many other points throughout the book Nana would strike down anything positive about Julil, and give her sides to all of his stories, her side usually consisting of something mean or terrible about Jalil. For example, Jalil told Mariam when Mariam was born, Jalil did not even show interest, and just continued with his horse riding trip, and when he finally did see her, all he could do was comment on her imperfections, and long face. Of course, Jalil's account of the story was much different, as he said that he immediately left his horse riding trip, to see his beautiful new daughter whom he loved from the first moment he saw her.
The things that set me over the edge of hating Nana was what she said about Mariam's purpose in life. Nana told Mariam that the only talent that she needed in life was to "endure” and that after she was gone, Mairiam would have nothing, and she is nothing. After reading this, i thought that i had it pinned that Nana was just a horrid bitter lady who had to constantly put Mariam down.
Just when i thought that i had it all figured out, Hosseini managed to catch me completely off guard. When Mariam asked Jalil if she could see his theatre, and Jalil began giving reasons why it was not a good idea, I knew that Jalil was full of it, and Mariam would never have the privilege of seeing Jalil and day outside of Thursday. When Jalil gave in and agreed to allow Mariam a visit to the theatre, i just figured that some way some how he would wiggle out of doing it. I was not surprised when Mariam was left alone waiting for her father. After Mariam made her way through the city to her father’s house was when my ideas towards Jalil started to shift. I was very surprised with Jalil's actions of not letting Mariam in the house, allowing her to sleep outside, but when Mariam caught a slight glimpse of Jalil in the window (i think it was Jalil) I immediately began to think that maybe Nana was not such a liar after all.
Although I did not want to believe Nana was correct, and i wanted Mariam and Jalil to be united and live happily ever after, I was stunned when Jalil's evil side, his true side, was shown in his actions of forcing Mariam out of his life.
With Nana gone, and Rasheed, Mariam's husband being her main superior, i am excited as to see how the rest of the book will capture my imagination and surprise me.
I am enjoying this book so much! Having already read The Namesake I feel as though I have a little cultural backround into Mariam's life and what kind of a women she is expected to be in her culture. I also believe that this can connect to Reading Lolita in Tehran very well because of the setting. Definatley was a good choice by us guys!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I wanted to specifically focus on one event in the book that was particularly moving and emotional for me. In chapter 8 of part one, Mariam is being forced marry a suitor Jalil and his three wives have found for her. She leaves Jalil's home to go live with her new husband practically on the other side of the country. Of course, 15 year old Mariam is lost and hurt. In all of a week, she has lost her mother and been abandoned by her father, twice.
During this part, I feel so much sympathy for Mariam, and many other young girls that are forced to marry someone they do not love. Not only are they forced to hide their bodies, their beliefs, and practically their individualism but their lives are already planned for them.
Throughout the beginnig of the story up to this point, we see Mariam look up to her father, Jalil, she thinks nothing but greatness of him. And here he is now, sending her away, without and explanation, without a sorry, without any sign of remorse. And this is when Mariam see's all that her mother warned her of.
Mariam tells her father, "I use to worship you" (page 50) and yet, he says nothing. He cannot bring himself to tell her that she was just a mistake, a burden of his sins. This gets me very angry because if he was so ashamed of her, why did he visit her every Thursday, and buy her presents? There was no way he could be doing it out of love, because if he were, he would have been more than welcoming to have Mariam live in his house after her mother was gone.
It hurt me for Mariam to experience this rejection from her father, when all she did was stick up for him to her mother. She believed in his goodness so much, almost too much. Her mother was her caregiver, the only one who would have always been there for her, and of course, Mariam took her for granted. But, we are only human, and that is what we do.
Although her mother warned her time and time again about her father, saying, “You think you matter to him, that you’re wanted in his house? You think you’re a daughter to him? That he’s going to take you in? Let me tell you something, a man’s heart is a wretched, wretched thing” (page26) the only way Mariam would know for sure of this is by experiencing it on her own, which she did. It may be the most painful thing she experienced, but sometimes in order to believe in something you have to experience it on your own. Also, I believe the part of the “a man’s hear is a wretched, wretched thing” is foreshadowing how her husband will also be an unpleasant man. In the little we have read so far, I see Hosseini trying to present the challenges and limits of a young Afghan woman’s life in this setting through the story of Mariam. And I cannot wait to read more.
I would like to comment on what Kristina says about the idea of shame being a big subject in the book. Both Rasheed and Jalil are ashamed by something. And unfortunatley both of these shames reflect on Mariam. These shames are also connected to their culture. Being married to three woman, it was a sin for Jalil to have a child without one of them. Although, since he is a man he does not get punished, however he must face the shame of his daughter, which he tries to be rid of. Rasheed's shame is toward the other men in his society who do not follow their culture, by letting their woman do things like wear makeup and show off their skin. Hoessini presents this shame to show how other's shames can affect those that are innocent. The shame Rasheed has also shows how not everyone in the Afghan community follows the culture, there are some who rebel against it, and it is seen offensive to some, but not all Afghans.
ReplyDeleteI would also like to comment on Kristina's idea of the symbol of pregnancy for Mariam. In her pregnancy there is hope, but like every other thing she has hoped for, it has only lead to failure. This happens again and again and she begins thnk she is being punished for not being a good daughter to her mother. It is much worse for Mariam that she cannot get pregnant, because it seems like that is her only purpose in her marriage. Without a child, the marriage is not a success and there is no meaning for it. Therefore, her shortcomings have angered Rasheed and there is now nothing she can do to please him. I feel as though Hoessini is trying to show that Mariam’s life has no hope.
I also agree with kristina’s comments of how Lalita’s birth represents the beginning of a revolution. However, I believe Lalita’s birth also symbolizes the beginning of a new life for Mariam, this child I believe will somehow grow close to Mariam and bring her happiness.
I would also agree with Alfonse that at the beginning of the story I also had a bad feeling towards Nana. She seemed so negative and always in a bad mood. I felt as though she resented Mariam’s life because it reminded her of Jalil and her also mistake. However, it came obvious that Nana was only looking out for her daughter when she said these things about Jalil. But of course, when our parents tell us more and more about something, we want to find out for ourselves. And unfortunately Mariam did. I also believe that Nana was already so weak and unhappy with life that in no way could she bring joy to Mariam. I believe Hoessini created Nana’s character this way to show the bitterness and anger Afghan woman have towards their role in lifes.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTo start, I agree with Francesca that it must have been devastating for a 14 year old to go through an experience of so many terrible things in such a short amount of time, and keep the faith to keep living, and keep sane.
ReplyDeleteIn a span of about four days, Mariam lost her mother, the only person that had truly loved her, realized her father never really cared about her, and was basically given to Rasheed against her will. It is hard to comprehend how horrible this time of Mariam's life must have been, and it is even harder to comprehend that such a young girl can withstand such a time. All of these terrible things that are happening to Mariam are making Nana's words quite clear in a few different ways, as Mariam is being forced to "endure," to an incredible extent. I predict that Nana had a firsthand view of an average women's life. With all of this wisdom and knowledge, Nana knew exactly what Mariam's life was going to be like. She knew that Mariam would not be able to make her own decisions, think for herself, and have times in her life when nothing seemed to make sense. In knowing all of this, all she could do was give Nana the only advice she knew, which was to "endure," and clearly Mariam is having plenty to endure at this point in time.
Next, I would like to agree with Kristina on how arranged marriages are flawed, and in no way involve love, emotion, or feeling. Mariam was not given a choice in her marriage with Rasheed, initially showing her lack of importance in decision making. Mariam is forced to live with the strange man of which she has known for barely a day, in a new world hundreds of miles away from the Kolba, the place she ever knew, other than Jalil's house which she was a day. I cannot even imagine how terrible it must have been to be given away like a lowly slave to a person that I have just met in a place hundreds of miles away. Although Mariam took some pride in doing womanly duties for Rasheed, such as cooking and cleaning, and she even began to feel emotion from Rasheed after sympathizing with him for his losses, the lack of love or real emotion was apparent in the relationship. Rasheed did show a small amount of interest in Mariam at first, but after she could not bear a child for him, he began to despise her and treat her terrible, constantly ridiculing her for her lack of knowledge on things like politics or the United States, and even going as far as shoving pebbles in her mouth because she did not cook rice properly.
To elaborate on the idea that Mariam has to endure all of these terrible things, it is interesting to see how the other side, the more privileged side is living. Mariam, at the young age of fourteen, is being sent off to live with a complete stranger, and to become a wife, and take on all of the responsibilities of a wife. At the same time, her half sisters are getting educations, going to school, and planning to go to a university. The difference among the lives of the Mariam and her sisters are absolutely astonishing to say the least. The girls do not have much of an age difference, and until being sent off with Rasheed, their houses were within 2 kilometers, but it seems as though their lives were light years apart. The fact that the children of Jalil's other wives have such simple, care free lives, while Mariam is having to change everything she ever knew just because she is not wanted in Jalil's household shows how unbalanced, and overall unfair life was. Although I understand that because of Mariam's background, and the label put on her because of everything that has happened, I hope that she finds the happiness that she deserves in some way later in the book.
I want to comment on what francesca said about Mariam always sticking up for her father Jalil. She did nothing but defend him and worship it. It just goes to show the lack of appreciation, of the Islamic men, of the women that are in their lives. The women give up so much for them and in return they give bak nothing.
ReplyDeleteI just want to also say too that I love the idea of this novel, the voice that Hosseini gives to the oppressed but strong and sometimes victorious women of Afghanistan. We never hear about strong female roles in the media or in literature or even anywhere for that matter. It is nice to see that someone is finally hearing women about what they have to say about their cultures.
I don't know if anyone has read Kite Runner by Hosseini but, 1000 Splendid Suns is no Kite Runner. No one seeks redemption. No one sees the Light. But the ancient battle between Light and Dark is seen in Mariam’s despair in discovering her father’s lack of strength and her mother’s manipulative lack of commitment to life.
I definitely think there should be a warning in the book: explicit domestic abuse: those with a propensity to PTSD be aware – given that Hosseini is highly skilled in his diction: show don’t tell. I was really surprised when I had read the things that happened to Mariam and other women in the book. At times in part one, it was a little graphic. Just like Francesca and Alfonse said, its like this poor, innocent 15 year old girl that is being treated horribly. Nobody ever wants to read something that obscene. But Hosseini writes it in such a way that we want to keep reading to make sure that there is a happy ending or something good comes out of it.
I don't think Hosseini was trying to make this book about the rights and wrongs of wars or about the justification of war and religion. I think he really wanted to tell us a story about the truths of what the innocent people, mainly women, must live with and deal with. I think Hossieni wants us to find that love can give us strength beyond anything we can imagine and it is a choice that is both liberating and difficult.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePart one deals with a lot of guilt and pity. I started to feel a lot of sympathy for Mariam. She is so young and I feel like the life she attained was not the life a child would want.
ReplyDeleteFrom the beginning, I noticed a difference in the portrayal of the way both Nana and Jalil treated Mariam. Jalil was masked to be an aspiring father who is there for his child, while Nana seemed to be strict and rough on Mariam all the time almost as if she were crazy. Nana constantly calls Mariam a "harami" whenever Mariam expresses her feelings about what she personally desires (like a relationship with her father and an education). Her mother constantly puts her down and makes her feel guilty, "harami was an unwanted thing; that she, Mariam, was an illegitimate person who would never have illegitimate things such as love, family, house, acceptance." (p.4) It struck me why Nana would define her daughter as this, but throughout the rest of part 1 I started to realize that maybe Nana was right about Mariam being a harami. When Nana committes suicide, Mariam is brought to Jalil's house with his three wives and nine other children. It is apparent that Mariam does not fit in and is unaccepted by the rest of the house hold. They therefore make the decision to send her off at 15 years old to marry Rasheed (a 40-45 year old man). There is a tremendous twist when Mariam actually ends up feeling more guilt than ever when her mother committes suicide and she is left with nothing as she realizes what her father is really about.
A person that I thought had some sort of symbolic representation was Mullah Faizullah. He seems to play the main male role model in Mariam's life. I feel like he has helped her out most, he's like a best friend to her because she was never sent to school, she had no legitamate siblings, and her parents didn't show much support. One thing I really wonder was why Nana easily resisted Mariam attaining an education? It's a shame to realize that Mariam could have had a future ahead of her, yet she is being barracaded by her mother who is rejecting her child's future happiness because of her own pitiful past. Nana had a bad past so she enforces it upon Mariam, "You're afraid, Nana...you're afraid that I might the happiness you never had." (p.27) I agree with this thought because Nana is getting in the way of Mariam's true happiness and there is nothing Mariam can do, she is controlled and it's not fair.
The realtionship between Mariam and Rasheed is awful. He is controlling and expects too much, after all Mariam is still technically a child.
From the start Hosseini projects that there really is no well beings in Mariam's life. It starts off bad and seems to go downhill from the death of her mother. She is not in love with Rasheed, she is forced to be with him reprsenting how the Islamic government has so much power over their citizens. In America, we have freedom of right, but here Hosseini shows that people of higher power will control you and things will get tough if you are placed in the wrong postions.
I would like to touch up on the topic of women brought up by Kristina. I feel like women have a lot of hope, like Mariam, yet they always get shut down. I agree that the women are definitely giving and they never get back anything in return. There are many injustices taking part in Mariam's life in part one. Rasheed has so much control over Mariam and it is sad because she is very young and the Islamic traditions are so different from the American, how I see it. Rasheed is abusive towards Mariam because she can't necessarily get pregnant. I believe that Mariam is strong for being able to deal with the outcomes of live she has. Women in the Afghan society are over powered by the men mostly because it is traditional for men to be superior to women. Women are supposed to abide by their husband's wishes and it would sinful if they don't. Women are controlled by what they wear, what they do, how they live, who they communicate with and I think Mariam will break away from that possibly becoming ashamed of her culture because her entire life she has had to live by the rules and desires of someone other than herself.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I would like to comment on Alfonse and Francesca's comments about the thoughts that Nana was horrid causing readers to dislike her character. At first I thought Nana was senile and dreadful, but after reading part one I felt that she had a reason for being like that- that being her past. I believe that the life Mariam is given right now may possibly be a repeat of the life Nana was given in her past. The way Nana constantly demeans Jalil showing her hate towards him and stopping Mariam's happiness seems similar to what may happen to Mariam with Rasheed. I feel like Mariam will stay with Rasheed and reproduce, but they will not be happy. This is not where she wants to be and I think she will find her way out of this harsh, enforced relationship creating the same, if not similar, outlook on life and men that her mother had. Nana states to Mariam that men always find a way to accuse and humiliate women and maybe that is why she hates Jalil so much. Maybe her relationship with Jalil was like that of Rasheed and Mariam, and as we can tell Rasheed and Mariam's relationship is terrible.
In my opinion, touching up on the idea of shame, I think it has to do more with Mariam than with Jalil and Rasheed. Mariam feels that it is her fault that her mother committed suicide, being the reason that she, herself is unable to reproduce right. The lack off love Jalil showed Mariam is thought to be shame that she was Nana's daughter so she was not important. The reason why she was arranged to marry and live with Rasheed was because Jalil and his family were ashamed of her so they abandoned her as well. She has lost all hope at this point and I hope she regains her self strength to give the book n outstanding ending!
I apologize for blogging so late but I really wanted to read the entire book before I chose to reflect on it and tell you my reactions.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I think the book is amazing and Hosseini did a fantastic job with part 1 especially because he had to draw in his readers and make them want to continue reading. What I enjoyed the most about the first part of the book was the vivid descriptions of Mariam's surroundings and how her life is more or so already set for her because she is considered a "harami" or bastard, by her father and his other wives. As I was continued reading, I found myself getting lost in the chapters and I lost track of the time because the storyline is so intriguing and I couldn't help but to continue turning the pages.
What was extremely shocking was the way that Nana, Mariam's mother, hung herself when her daughter sought out her father. All Mariam wanted for her 15th birthday was to feel accepted and adored by the only man she thought loved her. She only wanted to watch a movie at his grand cinema. What she got in return was her mother's suicide and the door shut in her face by her father. The way that Hosseini describes the entire ordeal is so fascinating and heart-breaking that I couldn't help but tear up when I was reading it. Mariam sleeps outside of her father's, Jalil's, palace for the entire night, only hoping, begging, and pleading for her father to come get her. When he doesn't, and Mariam realizes that Nana was right when she told her that her father considered her a "mugwort" along with the rest of his family, it's far too late. Mariam has to deal with the cold hard fact that the one woman who was held responsible for Mariam, and who provided shelter for her, took her own life because she couldn't bear to live without Mariam.
The most difficult part was having to read about Mariam's arranged marriage to Rasheed. From Hosseini's descriptions, I pictured a rotting, old man in my mind who reminded me of a dirty rat in a sewer. Especially when Hosseini describes Rasheed's "yellow rotting teeth". I thought that was quite repulsive to be honest. Reading about Mariam and her devastating struggles prior to her arranged marriage to Rasheed, made me so angry when her father just signed her off to this lunatic because he had absolutely no right to do that! But then again, I may think like this because I've grown up in America not Afghanistan, and my idea of liberty is completely different from Mariam's idea of liberty. When Mariam first went to Rasheed's home, she seemed eager to make him happy, even after he told her to wear a burqa and demanded his food to be just right. In Mariam's mind, she felt that anything was better than dealing with her cold-hearted father who had pawned her off to some nasty man with brewing cruel intentions.
As I continued to read about Mariam's and Rasheed's relationship, all I wanted to do was hurt Rasheed because of how evil he was. Making a woman eat pebbles because his food wasn't cooked just like he wanted it? Are you serious? I just got angrier and angrier as I continued reading but then I also realized how much we take for granted in our daily lives. I can never imagine dealing with a cruel man such as Rasheed and having to live up to these insanely strict expectations. In the U.S. we're taught that men and women should be treated equally, which was never the case and probably still isn't the case in Afghanistan. Rasheed's treatment of Mariam also reminds me of a story I read in the Boston Herald a couple of years ago. A woman in Afghanistan had been having a secret relationship with her gardener without telling her family and her brothers stoned her to death because the gardener was considered lower than them. How can you rely on anybody else if you can't even depend on your own flesh and blood to save your life? All of these aspects of Afghan lifestyles seem so extreme and bizarre tome.
I completely agree with Gabby when she says that Mullah Faizullah is the biggest “symbolic representation” in the entire book. Throughout the novel, we see consistent references to the Koran and the daily rituals in Islamic culture such as “namaz” the daily prayers, and Ramadan which is the month where they fast and feast on the last day. I felt like Mullah Faizullah was Mariam’s personal Allah. He seemed to be sacred to Mariam and he always helped her and was there to guide her through her young life, or at least what she managed to get out of it. Mullah also taught Mariam everything she knew, which was mostly about the Koran and he also taught her important prayers and sayings that stuck with Mariam throughout her life. What seemed amazing to me was Mariam’s relentless belief in God when she had every reason in the world to give up. From her several miscarriages to her husband’s ruthless beatings to her lack of family support, Mariam always looked to God and trusted that he would be there to guide her through these difficulties and help her survive anything. I know that if I was in Mariam’s shoes, I probably wouldn’t have as much faith as she did. But then again, when you’re faced with such tremendous obstacles the only thing you have to hold on to is faith, if nothing else.
ReplyDeleteKristina also mentions the idea of shame throughout the book as well which is very obvious to the reader. Rasheed and Jalil are so preoccupied with what the public may think of them that they go to great lengths to conceal their faults or what they may think of as faults in their lives. It’s so depressing to think that Mariam considered herself no more than a helpless burden in both of these men’s lives. In Rasheed’s life she was an incapable child bearer and in her father’s life she was just an unwanted harami with a tainted name. Feeling like you don’t belong anywhere would be so difficult to deal with no matter where you went or who you dealt with. Mariam no longer had a mother or father and you can pretty much say she had no husband either so she had nobody; not a single soul to rely on.
Francesca mentions the part where Mariam is telling Jalil that she “used to worship him (50)” which is also incredibly depressing to think about for many reasons. When you’re a fourteen year-old girl, you constantly search for answers around the world and you constantly look to your parents for advice. You count on these people to be there and when you can’t, you feel helpless and lost like in Mariam’s case. She had such a deep adoration for her father and she more or so created this image of him as an idol in her mind. But when he let her down, she was ultimately crushed and had to face the reality that even her own father, who had created her, would never fail to disappoint his beloved daughter.